you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
