Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
