If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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