so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
