I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
