i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
