I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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