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just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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