she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
