its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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