I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
