i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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