is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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