we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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