please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
