lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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