everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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