I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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