are you still at the devil's house?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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