what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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