I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
