idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
