i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
