was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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