did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
