Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
