I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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