Im at strip club and am horny
I will die if light touches me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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