He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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