erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
