Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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