HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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