I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize