My friends, they love my intelligence
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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