i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
