I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
