I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
