So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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