Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
