put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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