bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
