I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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