i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
