Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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