what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize