Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize