my mouth tastes like poor choices
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
