I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
