I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize