So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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