i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
