there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
