mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
