I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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