i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
