billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
