quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
