Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
