last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
