i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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