yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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