Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
